How many people say, "I’m in love"…? It is a pretty common phrase, one that I don’t like to say when I can help it, though I catch myself saying it sometimes. More on that in a bit.
Love has been on my mind a lot recently; it doesn’t help with Valentine’s Day being tomorrow. Walking through school and the stores the past few weeks it’s a hard thing to ignore. Which just makes me think of the other name people have for tomorrow – Singles awareness day! I have to say, I definitely agree with that statement. That being said, it also makes me think about what love is, which brings me back to my opening statement. I don’t like saying I’m in love, because that could also imply that I can fall out of love (I’m sure you’ve all heard that one). Rather I want to say “I love” someone, because that for me has so much more weight.
Love is a choice – sure, also a feeling at times – but a choice none the less. I choose to love. That being said, could I say that I’m in love right now? Yes. But I also choose to love. For me, saying I love someone, instead of saying I’m IN love, reminds me what love is. Love is willing the good of the other – not what you want, or what’s best for you, but what is best for the other. How often do I have to remind myself of this?!!!? ALL the time!
And when you get into a more serious relationship and then marriage, you discover that in that love for your significant other, you are giving of yourself! Totally one hundred percent!
Does this sound familiar? It should, because we have THE perfect example of it: Christ, by his death, and in the Eucharist. He shows us the perfect form of love. One that we can only strive to replicate.
A few months ago I was praying, meditating, and thinking of marriage and love, and God revealed to me something amazing. Some of you have probably already come to this understanding, but I’m still going to share it.
Marriage as a Sacrament points to Christ and His love for us and the Church. I was wondering how this could be, then it came to me. If that unity between two people is something so wonderful, something we all desire and long for; that the sexual union is something so amazing, so rich, so beautiful, and if it points to the Christ, and the Eucharist, then how much more amazing is the Eucharist?!?!?! We get to receive the Eucharist everyday, and I feel like a lot of us tend to really forget what it is!!! The Eucharist is God giving himself to us – to Me! Without reserve, without hesitation, He gives himself to me totally. Like, I can’t get over that! The alter is his wedding bed to me, and I am so undeserving of that love, but that does not change the fact that he still loves me. Not only does he give himself to me, but he died for me. He gave the ultimate form of love: He sacrificed his whole self for me, so that I may be saved! How does that verse go? “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).
This then purifies my view on love and sex. If sex and love are a reflection of the Eucharist and God’s love for us, then how sacred is it really? Try like, a lot. When you stop and think about it, looking at it with this understanding, can one understand how terrible it is that we as a culture and society degrade sex and love and turn it into a pastime. Where is the love? Where is the sacredness of the marital act? This is something that is suppose be a reflection of God’s love, and we lose that too often in this world. We are called to give of ourselves completely and wholly.
As I read in a book (Discovering the Feminine Genius. By Katrina Zeno. Great book – I highly, highly recommend it, yes even to guys), we are Eucharistic. We reflect and image God. So let our love be the same way. “The body is the monstrance of the soul, and the soul is the Eucharist of the body” (Zeno). How’s that for food for thought? We are sacred.
This brings me back to the beginning. Nowhere in Scripture does it say God is IN love with us, rather God loves us. God IS love. So let us BE love – let us love someone. Let us learn to sacrifice and give of ourselves.
So am I “in” love with someone? Yes, I believe so. But I also Choose to love that person. To want what is best for him; not what is best for me, or what I want, because that is not love. I NEED to remember that I can’t force my feelings on him; he deserves way more than that. He deserves and is worthy of an unselfish love.
God gave me a good slap in the face last week at mass, the second reading being 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. You all know what reading that is: Love is patient, love is kind…. Etc. but also hidden in there is love -- “it does not insist on its own way.” God was reminding me of a very important thing. I have to be patient, but I also have to remember that when I say “I love you”, it means there is someone else besides me, it’s not just an “I” but rather a “you” as well. A relationship is not one way, it incorporates two people – I can’t be selfish.
So to you all, have a great Valentines Day tomorrow with your “love.” And for all of us who are single and feeling the loneliness (maybe, maybe not), remember that we all have the perfect love in God. He might not get us flowers or chocolate, but that is okay, he died for us. I kinda think that is a little better then flowers or chocolate. J
Here is an article that I was pondering on as all of this came together.
http://chastityproject.com/2015/09/the-secret-to-true-love-from-a-mattress/
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